The Tour happened to take place right in the middle of the World Cup and, with most of us travelling up on the Saturday afternoon listening to Germany’s victory over Sweden on the radio was the perfect ‘taster’ for England’s game due to take place on Sunday afternoon.

We stayed at The Royal Clifton Hotel which was billed as being "right on The Promenade, with panoramic views across the North west coastline". Those who were told they had a ‘room with sea view’ when they booked in might have been disappointed when they got to their rooms as the sea was a good ½ an hour’s walk and even then you’d need binoculars to see it past the mile or so of sand. The hotel’s promotional flyer also promised ‘fabulous accommodation and facilities’ and although the location was ideal and the hotel comfortable enough there wasn’t a room without a creaky floorboard, the bars closed at 11pm and the average age of the remaining occupants was at least 75, which made the older members of the BUNGS touring party seem like ‘juniors’ again!

The longest drive of the weekend (other than one of Graham Bilsland’s tee shots) was to Ormskirk GC. A dull, damp morning greeted us but the golf course itself was in excellent condition as you might expect from an Open qualifying course. The large sign outside the Pro shop clearly stated that mobile phones were not allowed on the course. With England playing Ecuador in a World Cup game later on in the afternoon a few BUNGS members were no doubt determined to break that particular rule given half a chance.

Those who had turned up in shorts were hurriedly changing into trousers after being told by the Pro that only full length socks were allowed. Not to be outdone Adrian Marchant promptly bought 2 pairs of socks from the eager pro only to discover he’d been ‘done’ as they were even shorter than the ones he’d actually turned up in!

Karl Hughes had been telling everyone in the bar the previous night that he used to live in Southport. The only trouble was, on a rainy night with the hotel’s bar closing at 11pm Karl couldn’t come up with any of the best ‘nite spots’ to visit on account of his being too young at the time (some would say, he still is!)

Also, John Shaw was foolish enough to be walking round the town centre with a ‘newly independent’ James Shipman prowling for women as if he was on heat. There are no reports as to whether he was ‘successful’ or not but whenever his mobile phone rang it was always a female voice on the other end of the line. Over dinner, Gordon Sullivan raised an interesting ‘rules’ issue but, with Alan Tolley and Bill Hancock about to provide the answer Gordon insisting on his ‘namesake’, the esteemed Mr Galloway (or ‘gorgeous George’ as we should really call him) giving the answer because, as Mr Sullivan pointed out, he (gorgeous George, that is) was a ‘proper golfer’. There then ensued a heated debate about what constituted a proper golfer and whether playing ability, experience, quality of golf club you happened to be a member of or, (as in GG’s case), simply good looks should be the determining factor. On playing ability alone, when compared to Alan Tolley you could rightly argue that Gordon Galloway is, indeed a ‘proper’ golfer wheras clearly Alan is not, so perhaps Gordon (Sullivan, that is) had a point!

Finally, at one point during the evening, Andy Smith was explaining to Tim Thacker what his Uncle Jeff meant when he referred to one of his shots to a raised green which came up just short as a ‘Sister in Law’ shot, in other words, "up there, but not particularly proud of it". Tim’s response was short and to the point, "That’s my f***ing mother you’re talking about!"

36 holes of golf yesterday and 36 more today. A short drive (or perhaps a 5 iron) from the hotel was our second course of the weekend to be found in the aptly named ‘Cockle Dicks Lane’. This is the oldest club in Southport and combines some great parkland holes with a real ‘links’ feel, especially the first 2 and last 5 holes which provided a tough run in for most of us. The weather was still overcast and generally cloudy but quite warm and little or no rain forecast.

On the Saturday night, just as dessert was being served, the fire alarms went off in the hotel and we were asked to evacuate the building. As it was raining we all tried to assemble under the front canopy but as more and more guests (of the elderly variety) began making their way out, the front steps soon resembled a Sainsbury’s checkout counter on Saturday morning with a good 70 or so people milling around in the drizzle outside. The friendly hotel staff soon began bringing out towels so that those feeling the cold could wrap them around their shoulders (shame their wasn’t a hat for the old dear in curlers). This might have been fair enough for the geriatric brigade making up the rest of the hotel’s guests, but what were Bobby Ho, Brian Keates, Martyn Dodwell and Graham Bilsland doing with towels around their shoulders? You big ‘wuzzies’ !

With the match finely poised going into the last day singles we were all looking forward to playing one of the top courses at Southport and Ainsdale (S & A), a club in its centenary year and a genuine ‘championship’ course in every respect. Having hosted The British Amateur Championship in 2005 and 2 Ryder Cup matches back in 1933 and 1937 it was somehow fitting that we should be deciding the outcome of our own ‘Ryder Cup’ style match over such historic links. The day began in glorious sunshine and it promised to be even ‘hotter’ out on the course as players were determined to give their all for their respective teams.

With the match over and a slender win for the captain’s ‘black’ team it was time for a closing meal in the S & A clubhouse before departing for home. The food on offer was excellent, ‘Sunday roast’ style – with bowls of chips thrown in! (Graham Bilsland, the BUNGS resident ‘veggie’ had his own meal lovingly prepared and delivered to his table by the ‘geriatric’ waitress). Indeed, Gordon Sullivan must have fancied the waitress because he appeared to be chatting her up all through the meal and even had a ‘whip round’ for her afterwards, although when Alan Tolley suggested he should "give her one" Gordon pretended not to understand. Perhaps that’s the difference between Gordon and the rest – for most of us she was at least 30 years too old!

Seriously though, Gordon deserves a special mention as one of the Society’s more popular players. He may have lost his 100% record in the singles but he remains one of the toughest competitors and is always great company, and we hope to see him on many more BUNGS tours in the future – well played Gordon!

James became a winning captain for the second time, having won on his first attempt on the 2003 Tour to Norfolk. The difference this time was he managed to win 4 out of 5 of his weekend matches whereas, back in 2003, he didn’t get a single point! If he can manage to have the same success with the numerous women in his life (most of us have to be content with one) he should be ‘unstoppable’!

In contrast, John Bayliss captaining his ‘Challengers’ side for the very first time might have been disappointed to be on the losing side but, John should be extremely proud of himself. Having waited patiently for his chance to be captain, he was extremely gracious in defeat and, no doubt having really enjoyed the experience. John was a credit to the Society.

One or two had commented that the last couple of Tours had become a little too ‘competitive’ but in 2006 we saw some great golf (and a lot, not so great) on 3 superb courses; everyone seemed to get on well despite the ‘heat’ of the competition and some good fun was had by all. Credit for that must go to the two captains who kept everything in order and ensured that all the games were played in the right spirit.

With a swing like this, is it any wonder that Paul Hermmann’s Tour was like a pencil without any lead in it, ie ‘pointless’! To his credit, Paul never stopped trying at any time and, in addition to his comment that S & A was the best course he’d ever played, he also admitted that, although he lost all 5 of his matches he’d had a great time on his ‘water’ bed. Perhaps it was because of the water bed that you’d lost all 5 matches Paul!