BUNGS Tour 2001 - Skegness
15th to 17th June 2001

The weekend tour for the 2001 season took us to Skegness where we played North Shore, Seacroft and Woodhall Spa Golf Clubs.  As usual, we were split into two teams and played a 'ryder cup' style match.

The teams and results for the weekend were as follows.

Friday Morning
North Shore Hotel & Golf Course
5 x foursome-greensome matches (over 9 holes)
1 x singles match (over 9 holes)

Despite the dreadful weather forecast, spirits amongst both teams were high as the morning foursomes started amongst bright sunshine. The green team were expecting a win from Andy Smith in the opening singles match but Pete Thomas, who defeated Andy in the Sunday singles match last year in Llandudno, secured a great half for the blue team. Ian Talboys and John Shaw were anticipating an easy victory against Anthony Jackson and Mark Jones in the first foursomes match. However, things didn't go exactly to plan and it took a good putt from Ian on the final green to secure a 1up win.

Martyn Dodwell and Karl Hughes played very steady golf and were too strong for Barry Whitmore and Mike Thacker. Steve Lloyd and Gordon Sullivan had a shock against Mike Fox and Ivan Heathcote when Steve missed a two foot putt on the 4^th to go one down. With the green pairing having a shot at the 5^th and Steve having to hit 3 wood into the 5^th green, things weren't looking good. However, this turned out to be the turning point as Steve hit the back of the green and Gordon putted stiff for a par 4, whilst Mike and Ivan took five to get down from 100 yards to lose the hole. With both Mike and Ivan going out of bounds over the next couple of holes, the blue pairing wrapped-up the match 3/1.

John Newton and John Bayliss gelled well together and proved to be a successful partnership with a comfortable 3/2 victory over John Brake and Brian Keates. The final match contained the blue teams 'banker' pairing of Graham Bilsland and James Shipman. However, Steve Overton and Brian Goroll proved more than a match for their formidable opponents and the game ended in a half, ensuring both teams had three points at lunchtime on Friday.

Friday Afternoon
North Shore Hotel & Golf Course
5 x four-ball better-ball matches (over 18 holes)
1 x singles match (over 18 holes)

Friday afternoon started amongst heavy rain and thunder and lightning. The lighting must have had an effect on the 'electric' green team as the afternoon proved to be a disaster for the blues as, despite three of the matches going down the 18th, all of the games were won by the green team.

The singles match was contested between the two '4 point' Brians. Both Brian Goroll and Brian Keates scored a measly 4 stableford points at the preceding society day at Beau Desert, but it was Brian Goroll who picked up his game and triumphed 4/3. John Bayliss and Ivan Heathcote played very well to dispose of Martyn Dodwell and Mark Jones in a tight match that was decided on the 18^th.

Anthony Jackson and Pete Thomas had a stern test against a strong green pairing of Andy Smith and John Shaw. I'm sure Anthony and Pete enjoyed the company more that the golf as they were crushed 4/3.

Steve Lloyd and James Shipman fought back from 2 down to square an excellent match on the 17th against Mike Fox & Ian Talboys. Steve drove to within 30 yards of the 18th green and with both James and Mike in trouble off the tee, Ian hit a magnificent drive under pressure only ten yards behind Steve. Ian chipped safely onto the green and when Steve heard the blue's were down in all the matches, the pressure took it's toll and he took a further four shots to eventually lose the hole, and the match, to a par 4. Steve Overton & Mike Thacker came from behind to dispose of the blue's best pairing of Graham Bilsland and Karl Hughes in a tightly fought match. In the final match of the afternoon John Newton and Barry Whitmore secured the rout for the green team with a 3/2 victory over John Brake and Gordon Sullivan.

"Do you think I should take my cap off", James Shipman whilst lying on the ground to avoid being struck by lightning (he was worried about the brass buckle on the cap acting as a conductor).

"How am I supposed to win when I don’t have any f***ing shots", Graham Bilsland at several stages during the day.

"Go on Steve, you hit the second shot on this hole. We've taken your drive every time so far", Gordon Sullivan insisting Steve Lloyd hits the second shot on the 5^th during the morning foursomes. This was despite the fact that not only were their opponents 100 yards ahead off the tee in the middle of the fairway and receiving a shot, but Steve had to hit 3 wood to reach the green.

"I bet some f***ers played my f***ing ball", Ian Talboys on finding a stray golf ball whilst looking for his drive on the 17^th. This was despite that fact that there were no other golfers in the vicinity whilst playing the hole.

Score after day one - Green Team 9 / Blue Team 3

Saturday Morning
Seacroft Golf Club
5 x foursome-greensome matches (over 18 holes)
1 x singles match (over 18 holes)

Saturday morning began with a few ‘sore heads’ amongst the BUNGS contingent. There is a saying that there’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal and this proved to be the case, as the heavy losses on Friday afternoon, coupled with a few hangovers, stirred the blue team into a remarkable comeback.

The blues took five of the six morning matches and the greens won their only point of the morning thanks to another crash by a pairing involving Graham Bilsland, who despite himself and Mark Jones being well ahead, they proceeded to somehow lose the match on the 18^th. Perhaps Graham should have spent more time concentrating on his game rather than moaning about his handicap, or lack of it!

Notable victories included the first ever point for Anthony Jackson who, partnered by Karl Hughes, strolled to victory over Steve Overton and Barry Whitmore. Gordon Sullivan struck a great blow for the blues by defeating John Shaw in what must have been a lively encounter, as demonstrated by John’s moaning about his defeat all through Saturday afternoon. John was particularly miffed after driving into deep gorse at the 13^th and Gordon’s insistence on John hitting a provisional, despite Gordon being in the middle of the fairway and receiving a shot.

The tried and trusted foursomes pairing of Steve Lloyd and Martyn Dodwell played pretty much par golf and were 5up after 10. A fightback by Andy Smith and Ivan Heathcote ensued but was never too much of a worry for the Lloyd/Dodwell partnership who ran out 3/2 winners in the end.

The biggest win of the morning was by James Shipman and John Brake over Ian Talboys and John Newton. Ian did his best to stop the onslaught, but his partner wasn’t in the best of states on Saturday morning. John’s Friday night combination of red wine, white wine, lager, cider, babycham and meths left him a little worse for wear and, much to the amusement of all those around, he spent from 11.30pm to 3.30am locked in the downstairs toilet of the hotel ‘cuddling the porcelain’. There was mention of wounded animals earlier, and the way John was feeling in the early hours, most people think he should have been ‘put down’ (although most think that when he’s at full health).

In the battle of the ‘high handicappers’ Pete Thomas and Brian Keates kept the blue tide flowing with a great 2/1 win over Mike Thacker and Brian Goroll.

Saturday Afternoon
Seacroft Golf Club
5 x four-ball better-ball matches (over 18 holes)
1 x singles match (over 18 holes)

With the blues clawing their way back to within two points, their afternoon pairings remained largely untouched, with the greens having to re-shuffle or face the prospect of going into Sunday’s singles behind. There were two tight matches and two big wins for each team to share the points.

Pete Thomas was too strong for Mike Thacker in the singles match as they charged around the course in their buggy, with Pete coming out a comfortable 6/5 winner.

John Shaw and Ivan Heathcote easily ended the winning run of Anthony Jackson and Karl Hughes, although I’m sure Anthony and Karl were put off by John’s constant whinging about his defeat to Gordon in the morning singles match.

Graham Bilsland and Mark Jones once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by losing the lead, and the match on the 18^th, much to the delight of John Bayliss who defeated his former friend for the second time that day.

The match of Steve Lloyd and Martyn Dodwell against Mike Fox and Steve Overton was a very tight affair. With both Mike and Steve Overton putting for nett eagle on the first and then making nett birdie on the second, things looked bad for the Lloyd/Dodwell combination at 2 down. However, they steadied the ship and fought their way back (thanks mainly to the steady par play of Martyn but also by Steve sinking a monster 40 foot swinging putt on 15 and chipping-in from 60 feet at 16) to go up for the first time in the match on the 17^th. With Lloyd in trouble off the tee, it was up to Martyn to secure the win with a magnificent par at the last under a great deal of pressure.

John Brake and James Shipman continued their strong pairing by seeing-off Brian Goroll and Barry Whitmore whilst the last match of the afternoon saw Ian Talboys and Andy Smith play Brian Keates (Ian’s boss) and Gordon Sullivan. Some people may have felt a bit uneasy playing their boss, but not Ian who took the opportunity to thrash his employer 6/5. Things would have been different though if Ian hadn’t ‘deliberately’ put Gordon off whilst facing a 30 foot putt on the elevated 13^th green to keep the match alive. Bearing in mind that not only was the wind howling around their ears, but the rain was falling almost horizontally! Gordon’s reasons for missing the putt (he left it about 10 foot short and on the wrong line) was the manner in which Ian Talboys was tending the flag.  Tally's indiscretions were as follows:

1. Not holding the flag vertical in all directions - Tally had the flag on a slight incline away from the line of Gordon's putt so that he could hold the flag and stop it blowing around in the wind (the flag stick was about 10 foot long).
2. Standing on the wrong side of the hole and thus being in Gordon's line of sight (it must be questionable whether Gordon can actually see that far).
3. Holding an umbrella whilst tending the flag - despite the fact that it was pissing down with rain.
4. Tally's insistence on tending the flag despite Gordon's polite request for him to "go on, get out of the way, let my man Brian do it".

Despite all this, Gordon still insisted after shaking hands as they lost the match that had Brian Keates tended the flag from the start, he would have holed the putt - "I'm usually a good putter you know".

"I'm usually quite good getting out of bunkers you know", Gordon Sullivan stated after failing to shift his ball from any trap in less than four attempts.

"Go on, get out of the f***ing way, your in my line of sight", Gordon Sullivan shouted to Brian Keates (his partner) who happened to be standing within a 30 yard radius whilst Gordon was lining up another missed putt.

"What, he's there for two - my god, that's Tip Top that is", Gordon Sullivan commenting on Tally's second shot (only a short wedge!) to the par 5 9th after he had creamed his drive god knows how far.

"They are human after all", Ivan Heathcote commenting to his Partner after Steve Lloyd missed a three foot putt on the 11^th in the morning foursomes, to allow Ivan and Andy to win their first hole, and reduce the deficit to 5up.

"I’m alright", John Newton’s reply when asked a question whilst in the toilet in the early hours of Saturday. No matter what question he was asked, that was the only reply he could muster for four hours.

"How am I supposed to win when I don’t have any f***ing shots", Graham Bilsland at several stages during the day.

Score after day two - Green Team 13 / Blue Team 11

Sunday
Woodhall Spa (Hotchkin course)
11 x singles matches (over 18 holes)

The highlight of the weekend was the chance to see the BUNGS golfers truly humiliated by the 13^th best, and 2^nd most difficult golf course in the UK – The Hotchkin Course at Woodhall Spa. With plenty of heather and gorse, and bunkers that bordered on the unfair at times, the course certainly didn't disappoint in relation to it's toughness.

After 2 drawn series of matches and one rout for each side, the Green side stood 13-11 ahead going into the final day.

The first dramatic incident involved Martyn Dodwell. He was so frightened of John Bayliss’ 100% record and bizarre burgundy clown shoes, he created some story about his car breaking down, even to the extent of contacting the AA and having his car transported back to Sutton Coldfield. The one man even more relived at this outcome was Graham Bilsland who for reasons best known to himself, opened a book on Saturday night and offered 2-1 on odds on both John and Martyn. Graham has since been unavailable for comment as his phone is constantly engaged with Indian businessmen trying to place similar bets. With Martyn obviously unavailable to play, both captains felt the fairest thing to do was to declare the match a half and award both players half a point.

So, before a ball was struck in anger the match was 13 ½ - 11 ½. That is if you ignore a few angry shots struck on the par 3 course, the anger caused by getting up early to play on a course far inferior to the Arnold Palmer Putting Course found opposite our hotel on the Skegness seafront.

With only two points separating the teams, the blues were looking for a strong start to build their momentum. However in the opening match, Ivan Heathcote made a mockery of how difficult the course was by playing some great golf to win all the holes on the front nine against Brian Keates. Upon seeing the scoreboard on the 10^th tee, the blues were still hopeful of a fightback by Brian but it wasn't to be as Ivan won the next for a 10/8 whitewash.

The next matches brought success for the beleaguered blue team, including Graham Bilsland’s first victory, obviously aided by wearing a shirt with a looser collar on the final day. James Shipman was in fine form and shot a gross 83, which was an excellent score over such a difficult course, and triumphed 7/5 over the stunned Brian Goroll. Karl Hughes had a tight match against Mike Fox but Karl always seemed in control and even Foxy's finest animal impressions couldn't distract Karl who triumphed 3/1. Steve Lloyd had a very topsy-turvy game against Barry Whitmore but finally closed the match at the 17^th when, after driving into a deep pot bunker and playing out sideways, Barry’s excellent 3^rd shot somehow found the right hand green side bunker. Despite a good recovery shot, the course showed just how difficult it was as Barry's ball trickled over the green into the bunker opposite. With Steve's drive bouncing off a tree and leaving him only 70 yards from the green, a simple lob wedge to the middle of the putting surface secured the point.

With the blues taking 4½ points from the opening 6 matches things were looking good for a remarkable fightback, but the match between Anthony Jackson, who was again bearing an uncanny resemblance to Jimmy Krankie in his shorts, and Mike Thacker turned the game the green teams way. The match started off very tight, with Anthony doing well to get a half in 10 at the first. This was following a very powerful opening tee shot, or rather it would have been had he succeeded in connecting with the ball, prompting the worried looking starter to enquire about his handicap (he plays off 14). In the end Mike’s resilience shone through demonstrated by his hard fought win at the 6^th with Anthony having no response to Mike’s 11. From there, the golf did improve but eventually Anthony succumbed 3 and 2, although we hope to see him next year at Royal St. David’s as he might be able to get us a discount being a member.

The closest BUNGS tour ever would be decided by the final 4 matches. In the first of these, Gordon Sullivan overcame birthday boy, John Newton. This victory was all the more incredible as Gordon overcame numerous distractions such as Mark Jones breathing and a small child dropping an ice cream in Great Yarmouth. Gordon’s incredible peripheral vision (see Saturday’s report) has now resulted in the Royal Navy using his eyesight instead of Radar.

Mark Jones surprisingly ended the weekend with zero points from his 5 matches. However all were close matches and were lost on the last, with the exception of Sunday’s singles when Ian Talboys, who won four of his five matches, beat him with a barrage of pars and birdies, as opposed to Ian’s usual barrage of flying clubs and foul language.

Another player to win four of his five matches was John Shaw, who easily disposed of Pete Thomas with a 5/4 victory in a match that also contained some 'magical golf', best shown at the par 4 10^th. John puts his opening drive a mile right in to the trees and into some other county. Pete responds by putting his drive against the wire fence on the right hand side of the tee (about two foot away from where it started, but NOT in a forward direction!). John Shaw plays a provisional ball - hits it down the left hand side into the rough half way down the fairway - we are not sure whether it can be found let alone playable. Being left handed, Pete has to declare the ball unplayable and take a penalty drop - and leaves himself with a shot where the ball is two foot above his feet!  He then proceeds to hack his way through the gorse, eventually onto the fairway and some time later (it felt like hours at the time) arrived on the green - for eleven and two-putted for a thirteen. Meanwhile, John's provisional ball is discovered and declared in play. He proceeds to hit his fourth shot further down the left hand side and into more trouble. John finally arrives on the green and putts-out to win the hole with an eight! Whilst all this is happening, Andy Smith, who eventually triumphed 6/5, won the hole in his match against John Brake with a rare birdie three (Andy’s full explanation can be downloaded in a 6mb file from the BUNG’s website).

The final result after three days challenging golf on a trio excellent courses was an 18½ 16½ victory for the green team.

"Ivan did play very well", Brian Keates commenting on how he managed to lose his match against Ivan Heathcote 10/8. Brian is not the first person to lose by such a margin in a major matchplay competition. The other was Dale Hayes in the World Matchplay Championship. This, however, is where the similarity ends, Dale was beaten by 5 time Open Champion, 2 time US Masters Champion and 1 time US Open champion, Tom Watson, whereas Brian was defeated by a 14 handicap painter & decorator from Burton on Trent.

"I'm amazed I won considering I didn't have any f***ing shots", Graham Bilsland.

"I don't f***ing believe it, that's my chances of Player of the Weekend f***ed", John Bayliss upon hearing that Martyn Dodwell had broken down and wasn't going to make their match. What John didn't realise was that the half point he gained by not playing the match guaranteed him Player of the Weekend before any of Sundays singles started.

Final score - Green Team 18.5 / Blue Team 16.5


Final individual totals